I need a bit of clarification. What is it with older guys dating minors? Do they like the idea of fresh, tender meat? The idea of ripping out innocence and introducing them to a world of broken dreams and empty hopes? Let me explain.
Two years ago, my older brother, who was 19 at the time, began dating one of my very good girl friends, who was 16. At first, I didn't mind the idea at all. But then I noticed how controlling he became and how one little comment could turn him into a monster. He had the upper hand. She was a very insecure girl; her parents frequently told her how worthless she was. My brother was her security blanket. After several months, her parents decided they didn't want my brother dating their daughter, or even talking to her. They continued to communicate through the internet until her dad hacked into her emails and AIM accounts and changed her passwords. (Her dad had some psychotic tendencies.) So they decided to go the old fashioned way: love notes. They used her younger brothers as carriers. My friend bribed them into not saying anything to her parents. A note was intercepted at one point. My mother was so disgusted by it she couldn't even finish reading it. My friend's dad was furious. My brother was once again forbidden from speaking to her. Nothing stopped them.
One night when my brother was "out with friends," my grandpa received a phone call that a Blazer registered in his name had been parked outside of a house in a neighborhood for hours for the passed couple of nights. My brother's Blazer. My grandpa called my parents to ask if they knew where my brother was. They did not. My parents tried calling my brother numerous times and left several voicemails. We found out the house his car was parked in front of belonged to his girlfriend's neighbors. After that night, everything came unraveled.
If the law didn't state that if a minor is at the age of consent (16 years of age) and the partner is less than 4 years older, the partner cannot be tried for statutory rape. To make matters worse, she was worried about being pregnant. So for about six months while he was screwing his girlfriend and screwing himself, life in my house was hell. My brother doesn't listen to anybody. He does whatever the hell he wants. He is a selfish bastard. So many nights I shut myself up in my room with my headphones on because I didn't want to hear the yelling and fighting. I put my two cents in plenty of times but that only made things worse. But I didn't care. He had ruined not just his life but he also killed the relationship that I had with his girlfriend. Her parents forbade her to speak to even me, as if I were some sort of accomplice. Eventually, my parents decided to send him to live in Indiana with some of our family.
Well, that was back in early 2007. He returned home in May. It is now March of 2009 and I do believe history is about to repeat itself. And she is younger.
He is now 21 years old. And his new girlfriend is 15 years old. That's 6 years! Nobody, nobody, nobody approves of this relationship. She has been warned by several people about him and still she "loves" him. Now, I understand that holding someone's past over their head is wrong, but if I truly believed he has changed since then, I would not have as big of a problem. But I know he has not changed at all. Her mom is fine with them dating but I'm not sure if she knows his reputation. Her dad knows the story and does not approve. Her older brother does not approve. She is not allowed to even be in a car alone with him.
HOWEVER, apparently they have been finding ways to see each other...like on days when she stays home "sick" from school. I don't want to know what goes on there. But I want to tail him one day, then call her mom or dad from a private/restricted/unknown number and tell them. I deleted him from my facebook and myspace. Though we live in the same house still, we hardly speak. I have nothing to say to him. I want to throw a large, heavy object at his head, screaming obscenities hoping to knock some sense into him. I do not want to go through this again.
He has a way of making these young girls believe that they can't live without him, manipulating them into believing it's love. He tells her that even though "the odds are against them, their love will see them through." And "there's a light at the end of the tunnel" and "true love can endure all things." It's not cute; it's sick. I am completely and utterly grossed out by it all. I'm sure he's proud of his girlfriend who just got her driver's permit. At least he's been driving for 5 years, he can be the adult she drives with. Too bad she's not old enough to get into rated R movies, much less into the clubs he likes to go to. I do believe the club is where he met the last girl whose virginity he took. Ugh!!
Perhaps I should take a happy pill and talk to a shrink.
Uhm ever think of calling the cops? You have a choice of "protecting" your brother who you know is definitely is doing the wrong thing or save a girl from falling prey to guys like him. Good Luck.
@Z - Yes, I have considered that. My brother isn't a legit pedophile who hangs around playgrounds looking for children. He just always goes for the young girls, but if he gets caught with girl who is too young, he will be tried for statutory rape and labeled a pedophile (according to state law).
Here's a brief overview of my brother. He is 21, living at home, not going to college, bumming off mommy and daddy. He has been between jobs more often than he has kept them. He was unemployed for about 7 months before he decided to get a job at a car wash. This new job is hardly what I would even call a job. He works about...12 to 15 hours a week. During his unemployment, he drove my dad's car and my parents paid for the gas, because my brother didn't have the money. That made me so infuriated. I am two years younger than my brother and I have never been between jobs. I have not been without a job since I was 16 years old. Countless times my parents would tell him that if he did not get a job, he would not be allowed to drive their car and they would stop paying for gas. That would last for about 2 weeks at a time.
I just don't understand how he can be this way. And people say "if you talk about it, you'll feel better." But the more I talk about it, the angrier I get. Yet, I can't just leave it. I don't want my brother to completely ruin his life. I want him to do something with it. But he won't listen to anyone no matter what you say.
You sound more like a jealous bitch than a concerned sister. Grow the fuck up. Or better yet, dont. Maybe then he might like you :D
@Man Juice - I'm not jealous. I'm disgusted. Learn the difference, please.
And how do I sound like a jealous bitch? Am I jealous that he's dating 16 year old girls? Uh, no. Am I jealous that he gets shit handed to him? No, I just think it's completely wrong and I tell my parents this. And right now, he's not living at home. He moved in with my grandparents. I'm not sure why. My grandparents have enough to worry about without having to baby at 21 year old.
Comments (4)
Uhm ever think of calling the cops? You have a choice of "protecting" your brother who you know is definitely is doing the wrong thing or save a girl from falling prey to guys like him. Good Luck.
@Z - Yes, I have considered that. My brother isn't a legit pedophile who hangs around playgrounds looking for children. He just always goes for the young girls, but if he gets caught with girl who is too young, he will be tried for statutory rape and labeled a pedophile (according to state law).
Here's a brief overview of my brother. He is 21, living at home, not going to college, bumming off mommy and daddy. He has been between jobs more often than he has kept them. He was unemployed for about 7 months before he decided to get a job at a car wash. This new job is hardly what I would even call a job. He works about...12 to 15 hours a week. During his unemployment, he drove my dad's car and my parents paid for the gas, because my brother didn't have the money. That made me so infuriated. I am two years younger than my brother and I have never been between jobs. I have not been without a job since I was 16 years old. Countless times my parents would tell him that if he did not get a job, he would not be allowed to drive their car and they would stop paying for gas. That would last for about 2 weeks at a time.
I just don't understand how he can be this way. And people say "if you talk about it, you'll feel better." But the more I talk about it, the angrier I get. Yet, I can't just leave it. I don't want my brother to completely ruin his life. I want him to do something with it. But he won't listen to anyone no matter what you say.
You sound more like a jealous bitch than a concerned sister. Grow the fuck up. Or better yet, dont. Maybe then he might like you :D
@Man Juice - I'm not jealous. I'm disgusted. Learn the difference, please.
And how do I sound like a jealous bitch? Am I jealous that he's dating 16 year old girls? Uh, no. Am I jealous that he gets shit handed to him? No, I just think it's completely wrong and I tell my parents this. And right now, he's not living at home. He moved in with my grandparents. I'm not sure why. My grandparents have enough to worry about without having to baby at 21 year old.